LETTING GO IS GROWING UP.

This is the fifth day of my search in. I am learning a lot. It is like finding myself all over again. Enjoying the ideas and thoughts I once lost and now found is bliss. 

"Letting go is growing up." This is the main point of the article my friend sent me. I have to be fair in approaching this point as much as possible. But since life is not fair, most probably I will be concentrating on trying to refute some of the unknown author's claim. Just kidding! 

Before I continue with my thoughts, I would like to say that writing here has been such a good experience. The challenge that each new comment confronts me with is more than an eye opener. To all that reads my post, to all who find me stupid and hopeless, to all who find my thoughts romantic and to both followers and detractors alike, I thank you all for at least reading my thoughts.

Note: To all who are afraid to be confronted with new ideas, good luck with your uncontested life...

The weather has been specially conducive for sleeping here in the Philippines. The rains is not stopping for almost two days now. The national weather bureau says that rain is just caused by a low pressure area and that there is no storm. But if you were here and you would here the wind howling, you would probably question the weather itself and those who predict it.

My friend emailed me again to day giving me a prose from an unknown author, which in general told me to GROW UP by letting go. Quite comforting right, but I smiled as I read it. Opposition for me is not much of an issue. It is a way by which life teaches to look at things in a different perspective, so I welcome messages such as this. I also grow fond of people who take time to rebut my statements, because that means the purpose of my blog is well met. Like I always tell my friends, whenever I share my story, you should also listen to the point of view of the person regarding any issue or situation I am involved in. Knowing you are right doesn't mean you are right. It is just your perception. This started me thinking that maybe I am approaching my concerns in an incorrect manner. 

When I said I have let gone, I meant I have unloaded myself with the bad memories and hurt that I feel. But how can you just forget all the things you shared with that special someone. I remember my brother's girlfriend telling me, "you should dwell on the things that make you hate her instead on the good things you shared to allow you to let go quickly..." These thoughts perplexes me a whole lot. They are like hieroglyphics to me waiting to be deciphered. Why do I feel like this? Because to do this means wasting 11 months of my life with out trying to discern what i can get from it. Or maybe I am just over-analyzing all the things around? Maybe I should just take the words of the people who care for me plainly?

On the other hand, I appreciate what my new found friend told me. To count my blessings. Now I have been doing just that. But while I let go and count blessings, I firmly ask God for my ex's safety, happiness and peace of mind as well as mine.

When I reviewed the whole passage of the unknown author, I felt like this person worked the details of his thoughts in his own comfort zone. To me, he was a person who is not willing to go to the extremes for love. I recall one of my beloved psychology professors, he once said that there are different of classifying people in the perspective of living. But there are two general categories to group them into: 1) there are those who live cloistered lives and not move out of their comfort zones, i.e. this type of individual would most likely tell you when you love someone always reserve something for yourself; and 2) there are those who will push things to the extreme, i.e. this type of individual would most likely move out of the convention of loving to understand what love is. Personally, I have always chosen the latter to love extremely. I guess it is due to my adventurous nature. Like what I said in previous posts I wrote, there is a danger in judging someone based on one's own view point since you are two different individuals. This is one of those differences I am talking about.

Now some may say that, to reserve something for yourself when it comes to loving allows you to bounce back easily if the relationship fails. They might even ask, "how can you give something you don't have for yourself since you given all of the love you have" Sounds logical right. But why do you pray and ask for grace from God? Isn't it that you are trying to tap in to his eternal and ever lasting source of love? Because knowing that God loves you allows you to ask fervently for your needs even, at times, your whims.

Let us take note, I don't ask much. I am only asking for 4 things. 1) I ask for both my ex and I to find happiness; 2) I ask that we both find peace of mind; 3) I ask that God keeps her safe from harm all the time; and 4) If God permits, in case she is in trouble, that I maybe able to rescue her.

Believe me I have let gone of the impact of all the bad things. Yesterday, I was seriously laughing by myself while I was thinking of random things. It was a laugh I have never felt for a long time. It's just that behind all these things I am discovering I still know that I love her. If growing up would entail letting go even of the good lessons and experiences I gained through my ex, then I might be forever young.

Remember love is a choice just like life. By what you decide to do with each day defines you as a person. I love her still.