Love: We should condemn this man's acts.
Love: We should condemn this man's acts.: "I am deeply bothered by the acts of this man- Anders Behring Breivik. Gone are the days of the crusades when killing an infidel is just and..."
We should condemn this man's acts.
I am deeply bothered by the acts of this man- Anders Behring Breivik. Gone are the days of the crusades when killing an infidel is just and holy. In his case, he killed 93 innocent people. Regardless of their religion and beliefs, they should have been left in peace. Breivik should have considered that a life lived in peace is a much noble life and a life worth living. I am catholic, but I condemn the act of this man. If we have time, please let us all mourn and pray for the victims of this atrocious act.
Please read through the Yahoo article.
http://news.yahoo.com/norway-sLove: My Life Begins Today
Love: My Life Begins Today: "It’s over. The search within has reached the end of the road. For today my life heads on to a new direction. If it be a road less travelled,..."
My Life Begins Today
It’s over. The search within has reached the end of the road. For today my life heads on to a new direction. If it be a road less travelled, no one knows for sure. The need to move on and stand up is in my midst. I just needed to pick myself up. Unfortunately, in any break-ups there are no winners- just losers. Like I once said, we are all victims of our lies, indecision, fickle-mindedness... But I move on still.
When the doors in our life shut, we fail to see that it is an opportunity to keep silent and heal our selves. Because in the middle of such melancholic solitude, we may start to recognize that there are windows of opportunities opening before our eyes. We just are too blinded to see them that is why we don’t recognize.
In our selfishness, we get devoured by our anger. Making us, unnecessarily agitated by our wanting to retaliate that brings no peace within. I wouldn’t want to change the things that have happened for the past 4 months. They were meant to transpire for a reason. I learnt a lot of things in the process. It has shown the type of person my ex-girlfriend is. I discovered that I can be very furious when agitated. A side I haven’t really seen much, which I don’t want to further discover. I also saw how my usually care-free, calm self be so consumed by anger. These are things I am now trying better to control.
We all wish we can weather all the storms that pass our lives, but are we really asking for the right thing by just wishing for our trials to pass. Maybe we fail to ask God to teach us to dance in the rain? So we can still smile in the midst of our trials. My ex-girlfriend and I failed to learn to dance in the rain. We were reduced to being enemies in the end. A sad ending only time can mend.
In this blog, I have spoken about love, pain, sorrow, suffering and so on, but I haven’t really focused much on forgiveness. So now I take this chance to say, “I am sorry!” I know she will not accept it. I have prayed for her for the past days. I have asked God for forgiveness, but only life’s lessons I believe will teach my ex-girlfriend to forgive. Thus, I apologize to all women who may have been hurt by other men in the process of their relationships. Hate is just too easy, but love takes courage.
Adieu my love. Til we meet again.
Love: We maybe God's messenger to others
Love: We maybe God's messenger to others: "Dear Love, Twinkle was right when she pointed that I am still in love with the thought of the girl I first knew. I thank her for saying som..."
We maybe God's messenger to others
Dear Love,
Twinkle was right when she pointed that I am still in love with the thought of the girl I first knew. I thank her for saying something like that. It opened my eyes more to the reality of what I have today. I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but she is different now. So am I.
The last conversation I had with Twinkle was a sort of wake up call. I don’t know why she was the one, who was able to knock some sense into my head. Most my friends and family are saying the same thing, but it was her who was able to cut the message across to me. Perhaps, it is because of the fact she is also hurting with her own love situation. God definitely finds imperfect vessels to make messengers of. She just became a God sent messenger for me.
What was weird with what Twinkled told me was that she also got the message from a friend of hers, who was in a sort of the same situation like ours. I can still remember Twinkle sharing these words to me, “You love her. And you exert all the effort to love her even if you have parted ways. But who will love you then? If she is not the same person that you used to know. Why would you chase her if she doesn’t want to be chased? And who will chase after you?” I was dumb-founded by the words twinkle shared with me. For a moment, I saw clarity and hope in what the future brings.
I just have to do the best of what today brings. I can’t let the past drag me down. The past may have been a big failure for both of us, but the future may bestow wonderful surprises if we do our best today. From now on, I will chase my dreams. I hope someday love finds my way again.
Sincerely,
Me
Love: I will miss you...
Love: I will miss you...: "Dear Love, You probably missed out that I do get hurt too. Her absence just hurts badly. I wish you take it away. I can’t explain how lost ..."
I will miss you...
Dear Love,
You probably missed out that I do get hurt too. Her absence just hurts badly. I wish you take it away. I can’t explain how lost I am. She just left a hole right through my world- a void simply too big to fill. The words of people who try to help me only seem to clutter my mind. Perhaps I am meant to endure this emptiness until I find myself again.
All the doors shut on me now. But I still thank you for everything. For once I can prove that my heart still beats. That it is capable of loving, of enduring pain… The thought of her simply eats me inside. I wish I can say I hate her, but I can’t. How can I do so when she has always been the best part of me?
I am going to miss her smile… her gentleness that always extends its warmth. The amazing way she carries herself I will forever cherish. How she kindly encourages me each time I fall… It disappoints me to know that I can never hug her with such warmth. Her gentle stare each time she is troubled consumes me… My shoulder simply lost its purpose knowing she will not be there to lean on it whenever the wears of the world has worn her out… Her sweet caress I will definitely miss… The conversations we had will soon be but memories of what used to be. Our dreams will simply be painful thoughts of the past that will hunt me. She is a love that I gained and lost. Forever I guess wasn’t long enough.
I bid the thought her adieu. Love with her simply became bittersweet. Who would have thought it will come to this? I guess I will see her again when the hands of angels brushes away all my earthly worries. See you til then my love.
Yours always in love,
The Lost Me
Love: A Story
Love: A Story: "31 days has passed. Still no rainbow in sight, I think I am losing hope. Sigh. Here is a story I would like to share. 47 days ago, I recei..."
Love: A Story
Love: A Story: "31 days has passed. Still no rainbow in sight, I think I am losing hope. Sigh. Here is a story I would like to share. 47 days ago, I recei..."
A Story
31 days has passed. Still no rainbow in sight, I think I am losing hope. Sigh.
Here is a story I would like to share.
47 days ago, I received an email from my ex-girlfriend containing the pictures of her fiancé-Aiden. There were no texts or any message in the email. It only had 4 attachments. This is probably one of the most hilarious emails I have ever received from her. How so? When my brother and I examine the attachments of the email, we can’t help but laugh in amazement. I guess my ex-girlfriend did not realize that she sent edited pictures to someone who knows how to edit them. Or at least these pictures, she forwarded me are edited by an amateur. My ex-girlfriend even named her American boyfriend Aiden, whose name was actually the title on the subject line of the email message I am pertaining to.
Now why do my brother and I find the pictures funny, because the pictures of her so-called fiancé are actually shots taken from the internet of a famous actor. Who was the actor? It was Matt Lanter. Who is Matt Lanter? If you are familiar with the TV series “90210”, then you probably are familiar with him. He portrays the role of Liam Court in the said TV series. If you want more info on Matt Lanter, here is his mini biography that I lifted from IMDb.com: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1782667/)
Matthew Mackendree Lanter, or better known to fans as Matt Lanter was born on April 1, 1983 in Massillon, Stark County, Ohio, to Joseph Lanter and Jana Burson. He also has a sister named Kara Day. She is a teacher at Rea View Elementary School in Waxhaw, Union County, North Carolina.
When Matt turned 8 years old, he and his family moved to Atlanta, Fulton County in Georgia. Growing up, the blue-eyed actor spent most of his time playing baseball, football and golf. His love for baseball led him to scoring a position as a bat boy with the Atlanta Braves.
In the year 2001, he graduated from Collins Hill High School. Unfortunately for him, his parents got divorced when he was a senior at Collins Hill. Matt majored in Sports Business at the University of Georgia, but eventually moved to Los Angeles to follow his dreams of being part of the showbiz industry. He attended the University of Georgia after attending a community college for two years.
He first gained the attention of fans when he was selected as a contestant in the 2004 reality television series, Manhunt. The show revolved around contestants having to compete with each other in a series of modeling events. Although he did not win the competition, Matt succeeded in making the show's top 10.
It didn't take too long before critics started noticing Matt. He started landing guest roles on 8 Simple Rules, HBO's Big Love,and Point Pleasant, as well as some modeling jobs and national commercials in the country. Matt's big break came along when he starred as Horace Calloway, the John F. Kennedy-like first son on the short lived ABC political series, Commander in Chief in 2005. However, most people do not know that he was in fact, not in the original pilot. Instead, Matt was a re-cast.
In summer 2006, Matt had the opportunity of starring in a theater production of Without Walls alongside Laurence Fishburne at the Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles. That same year, he managed to earn a role on Heroes. He played Brody Mitchum, opposite Hayden Panettiere's character, Claire Bennett. Being a part of Heroes proved to be a great opportunity for Matt as the show had high ratings, which allowed Matt to gain more exposure. Fortunately for Matt, his role on Heroes paid off. He managed to snag guest roles on Shark, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Grey's Anatomy and Monk.
The year 2008 proved to be one of Matt's successful years. He made his debut on the big screen as a voice actor. He portrayed Anakin Skywalker in the animated film, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, a side story that is set between Star Wars II and Star Wars III. He also managed to get a role in Disaster Movie, playing Will, who was the boyfriend of Vanessa Minnilo's character.
More recently, he has signed on to play Liam, a character who's storyline will be entangled with AnnaLynne McCord's character, Naomi. Matt is expected to make his debut in the popular teen series next February. His movie, Sorority Row, will also be released in October 2009.
Despite being busy working in the industry, Matt says that he tries to stay as humble as possible. When he's not acting, he enjoys being outdoors, playing golf and relaxing at the beach. With more acting roles coming his way, there is definitely more to expect from this Ohio native.
So if Matt Lanter and Aiden (my ex-girlfriends American fiancé) is the same person, who then is being fooled? Did my ex-girlfriend send this message to ward me of? Well if she did, I already got the message crystal clear. But if she insist that it is Aiden who is in those pictures, then I am afraid that she is being played for a fool.
Aside from laughing at the pictures she sent, I became worried for her. Why? What if she was really being fooled? The edited pictures simply bugged me. So, I created a PowerPoint presentation that points out the flaws of the pictures of her Aiden. Just when I was about to send it to her, I realize that she might think that I am still very much affected by our break-up. And then I asked myself, “What if the email was really meant to fool me?” Sending her my presentation will only make me look stupid. Thus, I decided not to send it to her. But for the interest of those who want to see my presentation, I will post it here.
Now, you will be judge whether what she sent me is hilarious or not. DECIDE.
Love: Where do I now stand?
Love: Where do I now stand?: "30 days. The search within is almost over. I’m tired. I’m doing better now, but the thoughts of her still lingers. She serves like a drug- m..."
Love: Where do I now stand?
Love: Where do I now stand?: "30 days. The search within is almost over. I’m tired. I’m doing better now, but the thoughts of her still lingers. She serves like a drug- m..."
Where do I now stand?
30 days. The search within is almost over. I’m tired. I’m doing better now, but the thoughts of her still lingers. She serves like a drug- my personal high.
I have kept silent for a couple of days. I have neither written nor spent enough thought to post anything on this blog. The depression seems to permeate some more into my heart. I had to keep still. I knew this time that brooding over the lost of her would bring nothing good to me.
Now I am tired asking who was at fault in our relationship. Ever since I have surrendered everything about our relationship to God, I have tried to forgive and forget her. But I don’t know why she is still here in my world. I am done over analyzing how we could have saved what we had... or how our love could have still persisted. I have stopped questioning who were the people I shared her with. Who were the other spare tires? I have given-up on wanting her to reveal all the lies she threw my way. I have even resigned from wanting to see her even from a far just for one last time. I refrained from being perplexed with how she managed to say I love you to me, and then say I love you to another lover. I simply stopped convincing myself that her feelings for me were true. Even if I have asked God for the will to turn away from my feelings for her, the memories of her become harder to bear no matter how much I have tried to forget her. Now that my self-evaluation is almost over, I can’t understand why she remains here in my heart. Thus, I ask, “Will I ever come to forget her? Or will she be in my heart until I die?”
Maybe?! Only God knows what will happen next.
I believe love will continue to be an illusion having shared her with someone else from the start. For life, I will keep this burden of knowing that only one has stood well enough to fight for what we had until the very end. Passion seemed to have not existed at all since her heart and mind longed for someone else, even while we were making love.
So I pray that her memory fades inside me like an ancient language carved in stone, forgotten by time and which only I can understand. She was just a dream that a foolish man like me has cherished. Like a sculpture carved by a masters skilful hand, her name will remain etched in the cold, barren, empty and broken walls of my suffering soul. Her heart now belongs to another man.
Where do I now stand? Lost can’t even properly describe how I feel. I guess love simply took the best of me. But I never regret giving it my all. For I have decided from the start to love her with all I have.
Love: When signs are ignored
Love: When signs are ignored: "June 30. 25 days of examining my life is both rewarding and a pain. I am doing better now, but she still remains in my stubborn heart. I am ..."
When signs are ignored
June 30. 25 days of examining my life is both rewarding and a pain. I am doing better now, but she still remains in my stubborn heart. I am thinking of ways to make up for my mistakes.
I have seen my ex-girlfriend’s kindness in the days when love had us in her cradle. I loved how she gave to the poor. My heart was warmed when she always told me of things she wanted to do for the poor. I also loved the way she valued her family and friends. How she defended them was inspiring. Her gentleness and kindness lingers in my heart and mind. All these things drew her closer to me on those days when love was ours to wield. Unfortunately, there were signs I ignored in the process of our love.
The signs ignored
There were days when I asked her if she loves me but would not answer. She always found a way to throw a question back instead of answering with a simple and sweet yes. She asked me often, “What do you think?” This was the first sign I ignored. After every fight, it never ceased to amaze me how she almost always is willing to let go of me. It was as if everything we shared meant no value to her. She always said that she would just forget me. I guess she had so many baggage and unfinished business left unresolved. That’s why? It was burden enough for me to have pursued her knowing that she wasn’t fully over from her 6 year relationship, but her deception made it harder to distinguish what was true in our relationship. Another sign I ignored.
I never lied to my ex-girlfriend about my marital status. From the get go, when we first sat down to chat and eat lunch, I shared with her the stories about my failed marriage. But she just had to lie to her parents and family about my marital status, she said that she was just trying to protect my image knowing that she might be pulled away from me if her family knew about it. But if love meant defending the people you value most, she just did the opposite by lying to her family about me. A sign ignored again.
Facebook, now-a-days, can I either be a blessing or a curse. When we were still connected in facebook as friends, I have always been proud of her being my girlfriend. I have told her how much I love her through private messages and posts in FB, but I am shocked how easy it was for her to delete me when I posted our pictures. She told me that she didn’t want her friend to see her with someone else. My ex-girlfriend reiterated that I understood the situation that her best friend in Australia might get mad if she learns that she hasn’t informed her about me. Now the way I see it, it wasn’t just that she was keeping me from her best friend but there was another flame waiting for her in Australia. Another sign ignored shall we say.
When your girlfriend starts calling you names and curses you without restraint or holding back, you might want to re-evaluate your relationship. When your lover calls you worthless and ugly, without really looking your true value and worth, love between the both of you should be questioned. How are we to know a person’s true beauty? When most the world is too absorbed at looking at the physical attributes of a person. One of the signs ignored.
Text messaging has made communication easier for most couple now-a-days, but when your lover doesn’t even send you a simple message when you are already worrying about him or her. Start to question. My ex-girlfriend did just that. There were days when I am worried and always told her how communication is very important to me, but still she would go on days when we are apart that she would not text me- not even a simple hello. It simply makes you wonder and worry all the more. This is a sign you should never ignore. Remember communication is a key ingredient in all relationships no matter how private a person your lover is.
But the worst sign to ignore of all is when your partner calls you “son of a bitch” and wishes for your death. When your roads lead to this end, perhaps you should gently part ways with your lover. This relationship you have simply is not healthy. This was the last sign I ignored. My love or perhaps obsession blinded me.
But no matter how we regret and reminisce the moments we have shared with a love one, the truth remains that we hold the key towards the success or failure of our relationships. We hold the key to our emancipation from the realities that oppress us. In the end like all the other post I have written so far, I say once again, “Love is our decision.” WE DECIDE.
Because of Anger and Hate
22 days. I am pass the half way mark. I don’t know if I am winning this battle against myself or if am losing. I am just lost in this sea of sorrows, but I am glad to re-evaluate my life. I love her still! I don’t know why.
I have been paying much attention to twitter lately, but yesterday I just realized that the best friend of my ex-girlfriend tweeted me on June 9 of this year. Here is what she said, I quote without a changing her grammar and spelling, “hey dude u don't know me but hell yeah I know you're a fcken douchebag!” It is a very inquisitive and spiteful way to open a conversation with someone you don’t know, right?!
When I read this message, I really did not how to react. The hurt I have felt for the past weeks has reduced me to being numb and impervious to such kind of comments. How can I not be numb? See during our (meaning my ex-girlfriend and I) last exchange of text message, she conveyed her birthday wish quite clearly- my death. I guess this is the price of exposing the truth. Remember Hate is easy.
I myself am not so blessed with patience and tolerance for the lies she thrown my way. I was not so gentle in dealing with truth. In my small way getting even was what I aimed for, which I got and regret at the same time. Why? Because by getting back, which was not close to getting even, I lost her forever. Anger led me to lose sight of love. I hurt the only thing I valued most by exposing her lies. To whom? And How? I spoke to her supposedly ex-fiancé about everything she had done. How she used him and me? See their relationship did not end when I entered her life. Just when I thought that I was competing with her ex-boyfriend, whom she loved for 6 years and was in the USA, she did not reveal that I was also competing with her fiancé that lives in Australia. Now, I realize how many spare tires she has for her relationship. Fortunately, I was one of those spare tires. Easily left. Conveniently discarded.
Now looking back, I wish I just held my piece at that time and not let anger take a hold of me. In God’s time, all truths behind every lie will be revealed. I just lacked the patience to wait, which made me lose her all the more. Moreover, the things we do and say under such circumstances may uplift or demean our sense of morals and our character. It is also reflective of our breeding and education. Therefore, with how I reacted to my ex-girlfriend’s lies, I lowered my own values and shamed myself for losing control. It was as if I did not have any breeding and education, even if we say that we all do foolish things out of love.
Reflecting now on what my ex-girlfriend’s best friend’s message, I looked up the meaning of douchebag over the internet. I found two meanings of which through Urban Dictionary that were interesting. 1. Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached f@$%*r or motherf@$%*r. 2. An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears. It was quite a handful of unpleasant words to depict the meaning of this word. To be exact.
Now, I write not to refute my ex-girlfriend’s best friend’s claim of what kind of person I am. I feel she is right, because I demeaned my own upbringing in the process. Plus, I already made that mistake once of trying to bite back. I am not about to engage her best friend in a senseless debate. But I was surprised, with how I and her best friend reacted to our tweets. It wasn’t as feisty as I had expected it to be, but it was very frank and cold. Our conversation left me only three important things, which are stated below:
1. We were all victims by our lies and selfishness. Whatever we do in life has a way of catching up with us.
3. If you really love someone, no matter the hurt they deal you; you shouldn’t even consider getting even or taking vengeance.
The calm demeanor I had during that conversation was a gift. I guess I am gradually regaining my patience. On the other hand, her best friend was able to release her disappointment and a little of the disgust she feels towards me. As I can best describe it. But evaluating both parties’ actions, I believe we are great examples of people who lower their morals and standards due to emotions. Why? Assume that I really am douchebag and she a fine and educated woman, why then would she take time to send a fowl message to a douchebag knowing that he is one. Or call someone a moron, knowing that he is one. Wouldn’t that kind of action leave you in the gray? On my behalf, why did I even react to her message knowing that conversation and our arguments will be coming from opposing poles. This reaction somehow merits me the title of douche bag, I suppose. How would you consider our actions then?
YOU DECIDE.
For reference to the meanings of the word douchebag I used in this article, click on this link:
Love: We are all victims
Love: We are all victims: "Today, I exchanged tweets with my ex-girlfriend’s best friend, who did curse me last June 9. Her message then was quite a distraction, since..."
We are all victims
Today, I exchanged tweets with my ex-girlfriend’s best friend, who did curse me last June 9. Her message then was quite a distraction, since she called me names and cursed me. My conversation with her today in Twitter was refreshing, because she was calm in explaining herself. I guess her initial message conveyed her emotion. She was very straight-forward during our verbal exchange, which I really appreciated.
There was one thing she said in the middle of our conversation that really struck me. She said we are all victims. We all are victims of our actions and decisions. When my ex-girlfriend decided to lie to me, she did not consider how I would feel and how my family and friends would feel. When I learned about her lies and decided to react, I never saw how it will affect her family and friends as well. We were both blinded by our indecision and selfishness that love did not have enough space to grow well between us. We restricted our own understanding of what love is.
I also recall what her friend told me over twitter. What’s done is done. She hit the nail hard on the head again when she said this. She marked the exclamation to what I had with her friend. It is the end of the line. If only anger doesn’t consume us during times when we are in pain and suffering, then maybe the world will be a better place to live in. Remember whatever good or bad things we do in life has a way of catching up with us.
We can decide to laugh the lies off, but we can also do otherwise. We can choose life to put us down, but can also choose to fight back. Thus, we choose to be victims.
DECIDE.
Love: A View on Courage
Love: A View on Courage: "19 days. I am almost half way my 40 day journey of searching from within myself to find true treasure- love and passion. I just posted yest..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)