We maybe God's messenger to others

Dear Love,

Twinkle was right when she pointed that I am still in love with the thought of the girl I first knew. I thank her for saying something like that. It opened my eyes more to the reality of what I have today. I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but she is different now. So am I.

The last conversation I had with Twinkle was a sort of wake up call. I don’t know why she was the one, who was able to knock some sense into my head. Most my friends and family are saying the same thing, but it was her who was able to cut the message across to me. Perhaps, it is because of the fact she is also hurting with her own love situation. God definitely finds imperfect vessels to make messengers of. She just became a God sent messenger for me.

What was weird with what Twinkled told me was that she also got the message from a friend of hers, who was in a sort of the same situation like ours. I can still remember Twinkle sharing these words to me, “You love her. And you exert all the effort to love her even if you have parted ways. But who will love you then? If she is not the same person that you used to know. Why would you chase her if she doesn’t want to be chased? And who will chase after you?” I was dumb-founded by the words twinkle shared with me. For a moment, I saw clarity and hope in what the future brings.

I just have to do the best of what today brings. I can’t let the past drag me down. The past may have been a big failure for both of us, but the future may bestow wonderful surprises if we do our best today. From now on, I will chase my dreams. I hope someday love finds my way again.

Sincerely,

Me

Simplicity and Faith

17 days of painstaking search has passed. I still love her, but I know I have lost her.


Earlier today, I was walking through the lawn inside our yard when I saw a blue dragon fly passing by. It made me smile. It brought about childhood memories that I cherished. Those were days when the cares of the world did not bother me. It was a care-free life. In a certain degree of sense, it is a worry free life.

Hakuna matata!

Looking back, during one of the gatherings I attended together with my high school friends, I can still remember telling them that it would be great to be stuck in those days when we were still kids. I told them that it would be fun since we did not have to bother about learning and going through the pains of falling in and out of love, of what failure entails, of the pains of heartbreak, the suffering of losing someone you love most and the works. As foolish as it sounds, I did wish for it. I made that wish when I lost my wife. Yes, I am saying that I was married before.

You must be wondering now how complicated my life must be. It is very complex. Mostly, I blame myself for the wrong choices that I have made in the past, which has led me to where I am today. But I guess most my blog viewers now that already. Although, something different hit my mind when I recall what I said. A new idea... or rather a refreshing idea hit my mind.

In one of the religious community sharing session that I had partaken in the past, I can clearly recall a lady who shared a thought about how we should live. She said we should live in a modest and simple way, so that we can give our excess to poor people. So they may also live. Refreshing isn’t it. Logical, but hard to swallow and digest. To be able to accept this reality entails simplicity amongst us. I had a hard time accepting it to be straight-forward. Our parents and the world, in a way, have taught us to dream. Often times, it dares us to create larger-than-life-kind-of-dreams. Like I did, then suddenly this thought.  Live Simple, So Others May Simply Live.

To accept this thought was like fitting an entire ocean into a bucket, but I was wrong to think this. If you believe in God or any other supreme being, we need to realize that there are still things that our human minds can’t fathom. To understand it means we need to be gods ourselves. But there is an answer to this problem- FAITH. When we can’t control the things that turn everything about, it is faith that keeps us balanced. Faith leaves us the opportunity to submit everything to that one Supreme Being. When faith leaves you nothing but the choice of to be or not to be, then it is the time when we blindly trudge on without doubt and reluctance. It is a chance to TRUST.

We can all express our faith in little ways. I expressed mine when I lost my wife to her lover a couple of years back. Had I not kept some faith in me, I would probably be a junkie by now or worse- dead. It was painful, but I had to let go. Now, I have experienced another heartbreak in the hands of another person I hold dear. Two different women I trusted, but turned their backs on me for their lovers. A pragmatic person would probably think that there maybe something wrong me. They may have a point, but that is due for another post. If I had no notion of what faith is even in the slightest way, I would probably be sulking in the pain I am feeling and drowning myself with alcohol due to my last falling out. So, we need to try to be faithful and simple to know life and love better.

Maybe we have been living our lives in a fashion that does not please our God? Maybe we have been asking for the wrong things? Maybe we need to be a little more faithful?

It is amazing how see faith in kids. For Christians, we can see in the Bible how God instructs us to be like kids in accepting the kingdom of God. For practical individuals if you observe kids, you will realize how children obey their parents even without knowing their intentions. This is the faith I am talking about.

Maybe I am not so mistaken asking to be a kid forever after all? Maybe I have been longing and dreaming of the wrong things? Maybe I lacked faith and simplicity?

Simplicity and Faith are the two things I contemplated on today. Maybe by being simple and faithful, I can finally meet up with that one true love my heart awaits.

WE ALL DECIDE.