We maybe God's messenger to others

Dear Love,

Twinkle was right when she pointed that I am still in love with the thought of the girl I first knew. I thank her for saying something like that. It opened my eyes more to the reality of what I have today. I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but she is different now. So am I.

The last conversation I had with Twinkle was a sort of wake up call. I don’t know why she was the one, who was able to knock some sense into my head. Most my friends and family are saying the same thing, but it was her who was able to cut the message across to me. Perhaps, it is because of the fact she is also hurting with her own love situation. God definitely finds imperfect vessels to make messengers of. She just became a God sent messenger for me.

What was weird with what Twinkled told me was that she also got the message from a friend of hers, who was in a sort of the same situation like ours. I can still remember Twinkle sharing these words to me, “You love her. And you exert all the effort to love her even if you have parted ways. But who will love you then? If she is not the same person that you used to know. Why would you chase her if she doesn’t want to be chased? And who will chase after you?” I was dumb-founded by the words twinkle shared with me. For a moment, I saw clarity and hope in what the future brings.

I just have to do the best of what today brings. I can’t let the past drag me down. The past may have been a big failure for both of us, but the future may bestow wonderful surprises if we do our best today. From now on, I will chase my dreams. I hope someday love finds my way again.

Sincerely,

Me

I will miss you...

Dear Love,

You probably missed out that I do get hurt too. Her absence just hurts badly. I wish you take it away. I can’t explain how lost I am. She just left a hole right through my world- a void simply too big to fill. The words of people who try to help me only seem to clutter my mind. Perhaps I am meant to endure this emptiness until I find myself again.

All the doors shut on me now. But I still thank you for everything. For once I can prove that my heart still beats. That it is capable of loving, of enduring pain… The thought of her simply eats me inside. I wish I can say I hate her, but I can’t. How can I do so when she has always been the best part of me?

I am going to miss her smile… her gentleness that always extends its warmth. The amazing way she carries herself I will forever cherish. How she kindly encourages me each time I fall… It disappoints me to know that I can never hug her with such warmth. Her gentle stare each time she is troubled consumes me… My shoulder simply lost its purpose knowing she will not be there to lean on it whenever the wears of the world has worn her out… Her sweet caress I will definitely miss… The conversations we had will soon be but memories of what used to be. Our dreams will simply be painful thoughts of the past that will hunt me. She is a love that I gained and lost. Forever I guess wasn’t long enough.

I bid the thought her adieu. Love with her simply became bittersweet. Who would have thought it will come to this? I guess I will see her again when the hands of angels brushes away all my earthly worries. See you til then my love.

Yours always in love,

The Lost Me

A broken heart

It isn't easy to have your heart broken, especially if the one who broke it is a person you loved most. To go through the places where your love with that person was shared is so painful. Listening to music that you both liked, which plays in your MP3 player, becomes unbearable. Thinking of the plans you both wished to share for a lifetime causes nothing but sorrow. This is just a peek at what I am going through these days. I feel lost and I don't really know what to do. All I have is the hope that one day love will greet my doors once more. Or if I am fortunate, maybe I will have her back in my arms in this life or the next. Or maybe we will meet again in heaven.